late night thinking.

so i love watching my trashy shows; i'll admit it!

here are my "trashy"-ish shows that i love to watch:

• gossip girl
• real housewives
• orange country
• new jersey
• beverly hills
• atlanta (i only watch this one sometimes, too much ghetto
• audrina
• holly's world

mmmyeahhh :) i feel like i'm leaving some out but oh well! anyways, i'm

sitting here in bed watching rhonj and i start thinking "i wonder if other

people look at my life and wish they were me or had my life, like i wish

sometimes that i had other people's lives..." just a moment of reflection

i suppose. i mean, i'm sure it happens but i don't understand why some

people want the lives they want (that aren't theirs). ;laksjdf opinions?

CHIVALRY.

i am so blessed to have such an amazing man in my life that loves me so much. while we were out running errands, we had to stop and get gas. i was driving... so i pull up to the pump and naturally, nathan gets out, i shut off the car, and he starts pumping gas. a 90's country song came on the radio and i just started thinking about our relationship and chivalry. since nathan and i began dating the only time i have ever pumped gas has been when i have been driving by myself... even in bad weather he willingly steps outside of the car and pumps gas. it's such a small thing, but at the same time it says so, so much. ♥ i love my fiance.

MY MOMMY ♥

a chunck of my mom's email to a fellow veteran.

great words that bring tears to my eyes.

♥

MAKING PROGRESS...

the true cost.

To View A Larger Version, Click Here

Nathan and I, and our families, are definitely saving a lot for our wedding. Even with my over budget wedding gown, we are still going to be blow the price for the lowest wedding cost, which is shown to be in Utah (about $13,000). I can't believe the average cost for weddings in New York City is $70,000. For that much, Nathan and I could have two really nice vehicles or even a huge ass downpayment on a large house in Plano or Allen. Jeeze!

DO IT FOR ME, PLEASEEEE! ♥

so i'm entered in a photo contest to win a free photo shoot with an amazing photographer in dallas.

i'm actually highly considering her for all of our wedding related photos.

but i'm asking you all to help me out by following this link and liking my photo!

http://tinyurl.com/3hnym4g

(i swear it's not spam or anything like that!) 

the winner will have the most likes by the end of the contest (midnight, central time in the united states, on tuesday) of everyone in the album. so far i only have five likes and another girl has twenty-eight. so i have a lot of work to do! and i definitely appreciate all of the help i can get! :) :) :)

SPREAD THE WORD LOVES! 

thankyouuuuuuuu♥

in need of entertainment! :)

ask me questions! :D

http://www.formspring.me/redraiderHAYLS

BRIDESMAIDS :D

so i went to the movies with two of my great friends, heath and sarah. it's a big deal to go to the movies anymore because i have better things to spend ten bucks on. plus i typically just wait for movies to come out to redbox or netflix. i am so glad that i didn't wait to see this! :) the funniest part of the movie, in my opinion, is the whole first class plane scene. HILARIOUS! i definitely recommend anyone and everybody to see it. to me, it's kind of like the female version of the hangover, only no drugs and being a chick flick-ish type movie, there are sappy parts. but totally great! ♥

"it's not me..." HAHAHAHA

SCOUT! ♥

MEET SCOUT

nathan and i found this little guy wondering in the road on a busy five lane street here in lubbock. we were running an errand and nathan noticed him eating what appeared to be a dead bird on the first drive by. i never noticed him because i was too preoccupied with something else, so i asked what he was looking at. he told me and so i was just kind of like, "hmm, that's odd." but i wasn't too surprised seeing as how our labrador retriever would bring up dead rabbits and birds to my mom's patio door when she lived by southfork ranch. on our way home, we saw him again... but this time he was in the road! even before koda was hit by a car over christmas break, we tried to help animals get away from main roads to prevent them from being hit. a lot of people don't pay attention when they are driving because they're too preoccupied with their cell phones and radios. we managed to heard him (i just realized... if you aren't from texas and you never have been, this probably sounds ridiculous) with the car towards the nearest street, which leads into a quiet neighborhood. nathan got out of the car and tried to call him closer. he just started wondering up to a house. a nearby neighbor stepped out of his truck. we figured maybe it was his pet so we asked, but he replied saying that he had been hanging around all morning but he has never seen the pet before. the puppy had dirt all over him, he was obviously hot, and his ribs were beginning to show. nathan was able to get close enough to pet him, but every time nathan would put his hand out, the dog would lay down on the ground as if he were about to be hit. we slipped off raider's choke chain (because of course we were taking the dogs on a car ride to run our errand) and nathan stayed with him while i dropped the puppies off at home. i came back and the puppy happily jumped into the car. when we got him home we gave him a bath with flea and tick shampoo plus a little conditioner to help his coat. he was really scared, but i sat in the tub with him and just continued to pet him while nathan washed him. we gave him several treats and towel dried him. he was so happy! :) then we washed our furbabies. after checking craigslist and going to the emergency vet hospital to see if he had a microchip, it became apparent that he had no home and no one was taking care of him. although we already have two furbabies, we couldn't stand to see this sweet dog be left to fend for himself. one of my best friends has been looking for a dog to have while he is here at college (because he misses his family pets in dallas) so i asked if he'd come over and see scout! i nicknamed him scout because he's just so sweet and it seems to really fit him.  nathan and i decided that even if my friend, jeff, didn't want to adopt scout that we would foster him until we could find him a loving forever home. luckily however, jeff really loved him! he's super sweet and very relaxed, so i don't see how anyone couldn't! but we will be temporarily fostering him until jeff moves into his new apartment for the fall semester. this will give us time to make sure he has all of his shots, fattens up a bit, and gets plenty of love! he is house trained and crate trained (or maybe it's just the fact that we have dogs that are house trained and he just follows what they do), gets along great with both koda and raider, and loves to cuddle! he has a voice a lot like raider's but he doesn't use it all of the time. it seems that he really enjoys talking to me specifically, especially when he comes inside from playing or using the restroom and he's happy to see me and cool off! :) i'm just so glad that i have an amazingly sweet fiance and loves to help people and animals just as much as me. i was very hesitant to take on the responsibility of helping to rescue this puppy dog, but i have no regrets. he is one of god's creatures and is so sweet and innocent. there is no way that he would have not found a loving home. i'm just glad we could help him in the process to ensure a forever home.

 ♥

productivity and the end of the world

so last night it came to my attention that a bunch of people, who i would personally like to refer to as idiots, thought the world would end at midnight. obviously it has come and gone and time goes on. well, until six pm today according to even more idiots. -__- why don't you people stop worrying about when your last day on earth will be and live life to the fullest! but since we're on the subject... here's a question for you all: if you could know the exact date and time you are supposed to die, would you want to know?


on another note, i have been pretty productive since dropping nate off at work. (we're still working on fixing the problem with my car) i put more dirty dishes in the dishwasher, wiped the counters, washed a load of towels, exchanged the collar we bought for our temporary foster puppy (SEE NEW POST!), put up four baskets of clothes, and organized nathan's side of the closet. i enjoy doing laundry, but i hate putting it up. is that weird? and i don't think that nathan cares if his closet is organized. mine is actually color coordinated... not that i really wear anything that i hang up anymore. anywhoooo. i think i'm also going to make some chicken parmesan for dinner. i swear i'm part italian, hints my rather distinct nose. BUT i have naturally blonde hair and fair skin thus my mom's point of me being scandinavian is looking to be true. hahah! :) ohohohhhhh! and tonight i am going to eat dinner with nathan, then pick up my best friend heath, and go to the movies. we're seeing that new bridesmaids movie that's like the female version of "the hangover" or whatever.

STOKED!

i'm kinda pissed off though that my financial aid for the first and second summer sessions has yet to even post to my account. and once that happens, it will take an additional three to five days at the minimum to actually deposit to my account. -__- but of course my fall financial aid is complete. because that makes to total sense right? sigh.

PS. thanks for following and keeping up to date! i seem to have a lot of hits lately! :) feel free to drop some comments and follow my blog! xoxo

followers of ze blog...

i need more subscribers or followers or whatever so i don't feel like a crazy person talking, or typing i suppose, to myself.




kaythanks :)

THE KITCHEN!

so i have come to realize that i am incredibly ocd and super picky about the kitchen. it has to be aesthetically pleasing as well as functional. and it has to be clean. i don't mean tidy or with minimal crumbs... i mean CLEAN. i load the dishwasher, then hand wash the remaining dishes (which are usually the ones with teflon), then throw any trash away, and lastly spray down and wipe the counters with a bleach kitchen cleaner. i can't stand it when people in my family, coughcough, wipe down the counter top with a wet paper towel. wtf is that going to do, seriously? you should have more than just windex and clorox wipes underneath your kitchen sing for cleaning (and not just for the kitchen). if you don't, then you are a bad housewife/housekeeper/whatever. i mean you eat in your kitchen at least once a day, if you are a normal (or average) person. side note: i once spent the night at my best friend's house, whom i consider my little sister, and attempted to raid their pantry for breakfast in the morning. all i found was a shit load of vitamins and medicine. this family is not normal. they eat out all the time, because they can afford to. but i still love them to pieces. lol just picture all of the bacteria you're digesting when you put your fruit or sandwich on the countertop... EEEW! realistically you will always have germs come through some pathway into your body, but if you can avoid making yourself sick and being gross, then go for it! and plus, if you keep your kitchen clean you don't have to worry when you have guests over at the last minute. :)

leighton meester ♥

there's a rain that will never stop fallin'

there's a wall that i tried to take down

what i should have said just wouldn't pass my lips

so i held back and now we've come to this

and it's too late now

what do i do now that you're gone

no back up plan, no second chance

and no one else to blame

all i can hear in the silence that remains

are the words i couldn't say

♥

this really touches my heart. there are always words and actions that we regret not saying, whether we want to admit it or not. i always feel the words i couldn't say, everyday. but what would it change?

Diet.

ugh, after not having been on a strict diet for two years.... i'm finally regretting it. :( i tried on like twenty dresses today, and only half of them fit... and not the half i really cared about. it doesn't help that my mother gave me a huge effing chest. so now i have huge boobs that don't fit into anything regardless of the rest of my body. at least those fake broads with a size zero to two waist with double d's can fit into anything they want. -__-

time for a serious diet for the next year.
ugh, gonna get my wedding dress taken down at least three sizes.

bridesmaids.

i love this idea for the bridesmaids.

opinions?

DISGUSTING.

i agree with morgan... this is absolutely disgusting. 

i don't care if someone is transgender or not, nobody 

deserves to be treated this way for being who they are.

pleaseeeeee < 3

i want either a teacup pomeranian or a teacup yorkie!

♥

if you get me one, i will love you forever.

and ever.

and ever.

and ever.

and ever.

and ever.

FRIDAY! :D

i am so incredibly excited for friday!

why you ask?

payday.

and i'm not talking about the candy bar.

which meeeeeeannns....

i'm getting my tanning membership!

again.

finally.

YEAH! :D

but friday is also the day of my last two finals.

bleeeeehhhhh :/

Life Plans.

If you don’t design your own life plan,

chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. 

And guess what they have planned for you? 

Not much.

FAKE.

Without you I’d survive, but I’d have to have a notion

That I could live this life, just going through the motions

The travelling, the singing, it don’t mean nothing without you

The fast cars, the guitars, they are all just second to, 

This life, this love that you and I have been building up so high

It’s never gonna touch the sky, without you.

♥

I've finally decided that the one people I need in my life

are the ones that can honestly and truly say they care for

me. If you're going to be fake, then that's fine; go away.

Lord knows I've given you all plenty of opportunity and kept

an open mind, but I'm tired of dealing with this drama.

I've made my choice and hopefully it will be respected. I

don't care if I hurt the feelings of some because they never

cared if they hurt mine. But I'm sure I'm burning a few

bridges in this process, but that's okay. The bridges I'm maintaining

are much more important and worthwhile than those that

are crumbling behind me. I'm like my mother, that's what

you'll say. And you're going to talk plenty of shit behind my

back, but that's okay because I don't care one bit about you.

I don't do fake. THANKSSSSS.