"People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities.

Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s

not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look

at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something

out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to

be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."

EAT. PRAY. LOVE.

if i told you the truth

well, here we go again with the back and forth

trying to open up the same closed door

well, i wear my pride, you hide your pain

we both know there's no winning

but we still play the game

if i told you that i need you

would you run or stay with me?

would you steal my heart again and set me free?

if i told you i would never leave you

would you come unglued?

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

same old reasons, same excuses and lies

we've said it all before with the same goodbye

i can't let you leave me

you won't let me go

before we do this again, there's something you ought to know

if i told you that i need you

would you run or stay with me?

would you steal my heart again and set me free?

if i told you i would never leave you

would you come unglued?

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

i can't take away the past

and can't give up on us

i just hope that all i am will someday be enough

if i told you that i need you

would you run or stay with me?

would you steal my heart again and set me free?

if i told you i would never leave you

would you come unglued?

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

sometimes life presents us with different paths and

it is up to us to choose which to take. but

then the question becomes, which do you take?

i just want to feel something

but i wanna feel somethin'

somethin' that's a real somethin'

that moves me, that proves to me i'm still alive

surprise, surprise

i get to babysit or at least visit

this dork tomorrow evening ;)

and she doesn't even know it!

best big sister in the world

RIGHT HERE ♥

burlesque

this one is my favorite ♥

hothothot!

i have such an obsession with burlesque/showgirl outfits lately!

ahhhahaha :)

YES!

KODA ♥

our baby is home from his surgery

and expected to have a full recovery!

ah, tomorrow!

it felt good to catch up on much needed sleep today. unfortunately my body is still responding to stress and i wish it would just chill the fuck out, buuuuut tis life. :/ i got happy hour today and nathan had a doctor appointment. unfortunately i think the doctor he saw shouldn't even have a job... he prescribed three medications, two of which when mixed together are known to cause seizures. wtf is he trying to do, kill somebody? jesus.

but yeahhh. got to take a nap and cuddle with my raider babyyy. ♥ and took my history of rock and roll final online. hopeful to get at least a b.

and tomorrow afternoon we pick up koda from the vet in groves! :) i can't wait to see how our baby is doing. i've been so stressed and worried over him, but hopefully the vet doesn't see any negative signs of his recovery and will say it's okay to travel. i'm kind of tired of houston right now. i'm definitely looking forward to dallas, so hopefully we will be there...

also, on another note. i was doing some naughty christmas shopping and came across two websites recommended by cosmopolitan. my question is not only who would pay $200 for a vibrator, but who would pay $13,500 for a vibrator? that's soooo dumb.

it's you..

i got memories all over the place

but only one still hurts, only one still hurts like

texas was green eyes crying goodbye

was a long drive

a heartache i’m still trying to get through

texas was you

texas was my whole life waving goodbye

thought i’d die

a heartache i'm still trying to get through

texas was you

it will always be you.

♥

finally, some relief

well, my body is definitely suffering from all of the stress that has been present since sunday afternoon. but i'm so glad now that i feel like i can breathe again and things will be back to normal.

nathan's dad was super late picking us up from the house to drive two hours to the vet's clinic in groves. than in itself was upsetting. what made the situation even more frustrating was the fact that koda's pain medicine was definitely wearing off and he kept trying to get comfortable in the car so he would scream and cry every time he moved. :( but eventually he got situated and fell asleep until we arrived at the vet. he was a little shaky at first while we asked questions but quickly calmed down. i think he was used to seeing vets and knew everyone was trying to make him better. he was immediately put on pre-op medicine to manage his pain until it was time for surgery.

the vet's office called a few minutes ago and let us know that koda came through with one plate and seven screws put into his radius and ulna. we are all very hopeful for a full recovery! we just have to make sure that he doesn't try to run once he can actually place some weight on his leg. :) we pick him up thursday from the vet and in the mean time we will get plenty of rest and spoil our other baby a little bit because we've been force to neglect him some to help koda, which i'm sure he understands... but still.

and i just want to say thank you to all of our family and friends for being so helpful in this process/situation. even a huge thank you is deserved to those who stopped to help our babies find their way home and get help! and thank you all of the many prayers; there is no doubt we have needed them and appreciate them greatly!

nausea and sleep deprivation

i don't think i have had this little sleep since high school. i am running on fumes. but i can't sleep because i want to make sure my baby is okay. and although we know now that he has a broken radius and a fractured ulna, which can be repaired with a simple surgery i'm still worried like crazy. i'm so worried that i'm literally making myself sick. nausea is not my best friend.

well five am is going to come fast, so i need to try and take a nap.

SCARY DAY!

well, since nathan was off hunting with a bunch of the guys, i've been taking care of our babies (aka, the dogs). raider and koda slept with me and i would periodically have to get up several times in the night because they wanted something like food, water, or to go outside to relieve themselves. finally i got to get into deep sleep around 4am, but i didn't wake up until maybe 11am or 12pm... i knew mom had probably let the puppy dogs outside because she does that sometimes. i didn't have any problem with it and they weren't scratching on the door or anything to come back in so i took the time to shower. when i got out of the shower mom had come back inside from talking to the next door neighbors. i then proceeded to get dressed and then chill for a few minutes and talk to her. next thing we know, nathan is calling his mom (while he is driving back from hunting) and starts shouting at her "koda just got hit by a car! how the heck did he get out!?? and all kinds of stuff. i heard it all through the phone so i ran outside in the backyard and called both raider and koda's names but i didn't hear them or see them anywhere. we immediately got in the suv to find them when raider came running up to me with a lady following him in her truck. she was just trying to figure out where his home was and prevent him from being hit as well. we loaded raider up and raced to the scene of the accident about half a mile from the house, of course on a busy road. a policeman and several concerned citizens were by koda keeping him calm and making sure he was okay. i jumped out of the suv, pouring tears, and trying to find out what happened. one of the men carried koda and put him in the back seat so i could sit next to him and he could lay his arm down comfortably. he couldn't put any weight on his right paw without yelping and crying. :(

so next thing we rush him to the closest animal emergency room off of 249. they immediately took him to the back to give him some morphine for the pain. we then met with the vet, who of course was some indian guy with a thick ass accent that could barely speak english. he then proceeded to tell us what he thought was wrong but wouldn't be for sure without a full work up.... which would cost $1,100 and they would not do anything until we signed paperwork and paid up front. like SERIOUSLY!? who the fuck does that? my animal might be dying and in serious pain and all you're worried about is getting some damn money!? go figure. greedy bastards. and on top of that, he was going to have to recommend us to a specialist which was going to cost $3,000-$5,000. so of course we said fuck that because those charges are ridiculous. even when butterscotch was routinely going to the vet for medication and tests, it never cost that much! so we left with a pain prescription.

we packed up all of our stuff as quickly as possible and loaded it in the truck to head to dallas where we have an excellent vet that could get the job done and not put us in debt. you know? unfortunately after having him just ride in the car for about an hour while we were trying to get things in order, koda was in pain and obviously didn't like riding in the car hurt. so we came back to nathan's mom's house and made him a pallet on the sunroom floor where we could watch him and he could be secluded from the traffic of the other two dogs. nathan's brother-in-law's dad told us of a vet his sister used for her dog in an emergency situation. her neighbor had shot the dog with an arrow (accident or not i'm not sure) but it went in through his head, his jaw, and even his shoulder. they had several consultations with different vets and a few told her that the chances of him recovering weren't very likely and that he would have problems with his tongue, brain, and even shoulder. BUT $400 for a surgery with this vet and he's normal again... no problems! so we're going to go to a real vet that actually cares about animals and not squeezing money out of you! so we contacted him and he called us back... we will be the first ones seen tomorrow morning right when they open! i just want koda to be out of pain and on the road to recovery.

i'm just sooo thankful for the people that stopped to help our babies when they accidentally escaped the backyard. luckily they were both wearing collars with tags and people really wanted to help and didn't just leave him to get hit by another vehicle. and i'm really upset that the kid that hit him left. the way i see it is that it's just a huge accident... it was an accident that our babies got out and it was an accident that they got hit. it's not like you drive around everywhere expecting for dogs to come racing across the street, you know? i would have forgiven them in a heartbeat. but to be so inhumane and keep driving?..... that hurts. i just hope that this sits on their conscious for quite awhile.

if you don't care about animals, you shouldn't be a fucking vet!

hallie elizabeth wilson on a six hour road trip with three hours of sleep, if that, and two dogs is not a good idea. plus it doesn't help when people don't have plans set in stone and everyone is calling everyone like a chicken with their head cut off.

so. stressful.

but, i want to punch some people in the face right now.

and i'm tired.

so, yeah. just thought you should know!

christmas idea

so i'm pretty sure i want to get this for

my mom for christmas. :) maybe even get

matching ones so it's like a mother/daughter thing?

i think i'm going to get these for myself

as a christmas/birthday gift because they

are so freaking cute and totally me. ♥

all over you

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways

My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days

I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes

To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me

And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck

To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures

And overanalyze your words

But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard

It's taking everything in me

Just to forget your sweater so far

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world

But your undecisive mind shows me that

You are "just another girl"

I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real

What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams

Maybe then you'd know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me

And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck

To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures

And overanalyze your words

But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard

It's taking everything in me

Just to forget your sweater so far

I can honestly say

That I never, ever, ever felt this way

Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin

These are the parts of your body

That cause my comatose to begin

I can honestly say

That I never, ever, ever felt this way

Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin

These are the parts of your body

That cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day

I don't really need to anyway

What's the point when my dreams are infected

With words you used to say

I will breathe in a moment

As long as I keep my distance

I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me

It's not like I think about you constantly

So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect

Your life anymore

I knew it the moment you walked into the door

So don't go worrying about me

It's not like I think about you constantly

So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect

Your life anymore

I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me

Because there's nothing else that I do well

I'll let you get the best of me

Because there's nothing else that I do well

I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker

I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker

You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim

beauty

WEDDING UPDATE!

so here is an update for all of my bridesmaids to check out my plans/ideas as of right now. :)

here are the dresses i am really looking at. i am also going to look at nathan's mom's wedding dress she had that is made of lace apparently and she said that i can alter it however i want because no one will ever wear it again and it would be sad for it to be wasted. but here is what i have thus far:

i think that it's really pretty! :) what do you all think?

here are a few of the wedding cakes that we like also!

here are the hair styles i'm looking at:

and here are some ideas for the flowers. i think i'm going to have a super colorful bouquet and since all of the bridesmaids will be wearing a color or than white, i can incorporate more white flowers into the bouquets.

AND last but not least, as of right now we are looking at having our wedding ceremony at lindsay lakes in cypress. the website is www.lindsaylakes.com if you want to check it out!

well today has been a much needed day of rest and relaxation. i woke up this morning at six to let the puppies out to go to the bathroom. then i went back to sleep for a few hours. when i woke up i laid in bed and worked on a lot of homework. i feel so accomplished! then i watched tv for awhile and played call of duty. unfortunately, today was not one of my better days for playing against people online. nate has spent the majority of his day playing red dead redemption, which i rented while i was on campus, because i am such an awesome fiance! well i guess that's it for now. tootles :)

just to catch up...

well, i have been far too busy to be blogging. right now nathan and i are at his mom's house in cypress, which is near houston. :) we have been running errands all day, which i love to do, and i even got starbucks to help with my cramps! on a side note, is it kinda cute that nate knows which tampons to buy me? haha. raider decided to bring out his inner puppy today and chewed an entire handle off of one of nathan's favorite travel bags. :( and rayray is afraid to go in the backyard? must have been the memory of all of those fireworks going off coming back to haunt him. we finally have the xbox hooked up to the internet so i'm super happy! :) i just need to find a job for when i go back to school. i can't believe that i am getting so old now. AHH!

it's a rainy day in the lbk

it's been raining all day and night, which was pretty gross especially walking around campus worrying about staying dry. nate and i stayed up all last night, well i stayed up longer, cramming for an economics test and playing call of duty. i'm halfway a bad influence because i used to hate him playing all the time, but now i do! lol, but at least we focus on getting our homework done still. yeah, and while i was studying at the library until about 12:30 in the morning, there were some loud ass people in the basement a few tables away... it's called a library for a reason so shut the hell up. :) but yeah, i did pretty well on my economics test i think. i mostly studied chapter eight instead of eighth through twelve, but turns out it's best that i did that because the majority of the test was from chapter eight! bahahah. so that paid off well. i wound up not going to my business calculus class though because i had a lot of time between classes and the dogs really couldn't stay in their cages for the entire day. egh, they have been a pain in y ass today. HAHA! and even though i pulled an all-nighter and took a two hour nap after the test, i'm pretty much wide awake! kind of crazy... oh, and i looked at a lot of wedding things today like invitations, save the dates, and dresses. i kinda have in mind exactly what i want my dress to look like. it's kinda tough because i'm so indecisive, but once i go and try some on again it'll be a little easier to decide. i'm just excited. :)

the beginning of this blog...

i am now completely addicted to call of duty. i woke up this morning and made nathan breakfast in bed and then went into the living room to play xbox live with the tv on mute. hahaha, so so sad. just kind of hung out all day with the boys. around ten o'clock we decided we wanted to make a starbucks run so of course we drove to the second closest one (because it's the best in lubbock!) halfway across town. well, on the way back home some red car with a california license plate turns off of some street to my left and is driving straight into two other cars! they suddenly swerved nearly having hit the both of the cars traveling in the opposite direction. they then manage to make their way over to the right side of the road where they then proceed to stop at the traffic light, right in front of me, taking up part of another lane. surprisingly, they manage to go pretty straight for awhile with little swerving. our turn was at the next light and i was keeping a safe distance from the driver. suddenly they swerve into the right turn lane and speed off. we safely turn and watch as the car barely escapes going into a ditch and crashing into a light pole. RIDICULOUS! it was pretty much the craziest thing ever. and if i had thought about getting their license plate sooner than later, we would have called them into the police. ughhh, this is a prime example why this college town is one of the drunkest cities in the nation. haha

that concludes my day. :)