"People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities.

Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s

not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look

at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something

out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to

be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."

EAT. PRAY. LOVE.

if i told you the truth

well, here we go again with the back and forth

trying to open up the same closed door

well, i wear my pride, you hide your pain

we both know there's no winning

but we still play the game

if i told you that i need you

would you run or stay with me?

would you steal my heart again and set me free?

if i told you i would never leave you

would you come unglued?

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

same old reasons, same excuses and lies

we've said it all before with the same goodbye

i can't let you leave me

you won't let me go

before we do this again, there's something you ought to know

if i told you that i need you

would you run or stay with me?

would you steal my heart again and set me free?

if i told you i would never leave you

would you come unglued?

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

i can't take away the past

and can't give up on us

i just hope that all i am will someday be enough

if i told you that i need you

would you run or stay with me?

would you steal my heart again and set me free?

if i told you i would never leave you

would you come unglued?

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

what would you do?

if i told you the truth

sometimes life presents us with different paths and

it is up to us to choose which to take. but

then the question becomes, which do you take?

i just want to feel something

but i wanna feel somethin'

somethin' that's a real somethin'

that moves me, that proves to me i'm still alive

surprise, surprise

i get to babysit or at least visit

this dork tomorrow evening ;)

and she doesn't even know it!

best big sister in the world

RIGHT HERE ♥

burlesque

this one is my favorite ♥

hothothot!

i have such an obsession with burlesque/showgirl outfits lately!

ahhhahaha :)

YES!

KODA ♥

our baby is home from his surgery

and expected to have a full recovery!

ah, tomorrow!

it felt good to catch up on much needed sleep today. unfortunately my body is still responding to stress and i wish it would just chill the fuck out, buuuuut tis life. :/ i got happy hour today and nathan had a doctor appointment. unfortunately i think the doctor he saw shouldn't even have a job... he prescribed three medications, two of which when mixed together are known to cause seizures. wtf is he trying to do, kill somebody? jesus.

but yeahhh. got to take a nap and cuddle with my raider babyyy. ♥ and took my history of rock and roll final online. hopeful to get at least a b.

and tomorrow afternoon we pick up koda from the vet in groves! :) i can't wait to see how our baby is doing. i've been so stressed and worried over him, but hopefully the vet doesn't see any negative signs of his recovery and will say it's okay to travel. i'm kind of tired of houston right now. i'm definitely looking forward to dallas, so hopefully we will be there...

also, on another note. i was doing some naughty christmas shopping and came across two websites recommended by cosmopolitan. my question is not only who would pay $200 for a vibrator, but who would pay $13,500 for a vibrator? that's soooo dumb.

it's you..

i got memories all over the place

but only one still hurts, only one still hurts like

texas was green eyes crying goodbye

was a long drive

a heartache i’m still trying to get through

texas was you

texas was my whole life waving goodbye

thought i’d die

a heartache i'm still trying to get through

texas was you

it will always be you.

♥

finally, some relief

well, my body is definitely suffering from all of the stress that has been present since sunday afternoon. but i'm so glad now that i feel like i can breathe again and things will be back to normal.

nathan's dad was super late picking us up from the house to drive two hours to the vet's clinic in groves. than in itself was upsetting. what made the situation even more frustrating was the fact that koda's pain medicine was definitely wearing off and he kept trying to get comfortable in the car so he would scream and cry every time he moved. :( but eventually he got situated and fell asleep until we arrived at the vet. he was a little shaky at first while we asked questions but quickly calmed down. i think he was used to seeing vets and knew everyone was trying to make him better. he was immediately put on pre-op medicine to manage his pain until it was time for surgery.

the vet's office called a few minutes ago and let us know that koda came through with one plate and seven screws put into his radius and ulna. we are all very hopeful for a full recovery! we just have to make sure that he doesn't try to run once he can actually place some weight on his leg. :) we pick him up thursday from the vet and in the mean time we will get plenty of rest and spoil our other baby a little bit because we've been force to neglect him some to help koda, which i'm sure he understands... but still.

and i just want to say thank you to all of our family and friends for being so helpful in this process/situation. even a huge thank you is deserved to those who stopped to help our babies find their way home and get help! and thank you all of the many prayers; there is no doubt we have needed them and appreciate them greatly!

nausea and sleep deprivation

i don't think i have had this little sleep since high school. i am running on fumes. but i can't sleep because i want to make sure my baby is okay. and although we know now that he has a broken radius and a fractured ulna, which can be repaired with a simple surgery i'm still worried like crazy. i'm so worried that i'm literally making myself sick. nausea is not my best friend.

well five am is going to come fast, so i need to try and take a nap.

SCARY DAY!

well, since nathan was off hunting with a bunch of the guys, i've been taking care of our babies (aka, the dogs). raider and koda slept with me and i would periodically have to get up several times in the night because they wanted something like food, water, or to go outside to relieve themselves. finally i got to get into deep sleep around 4am, but i didn't wake up until maybe 11am or 12pm... i knew mom had probably let the puppy dogs outside because she does that sometimes. i didn't have any problem with it and they weren't scratching on the door or anything to come back in so i took the time to shower. when i got out of the shower mom had come back inside from talking to the next door neighbors. i then proceeded to get dressed and then chill for a few minutes and talk to her. next thing we know, nathan is calling his mom (while he is driving back from hunting) and starts shouting at her "koda just got hit by a car! how the heck did he get out!?? and all kinds of stuff. i heard it all through the phone so i ran outside in the backyard and called both raider and koda's names but i didn't hear them or see them anywhere. we immediately got in the suv to find them when raider came running up to me with a lady following him in her truck. she was just trying to figure out where his home was and prevent him from being hit as well. we loaded raider up and raced to the scene of the accident about half a mile from the house, of course on a busy road. a policeman and several concerned citizens were by koda keeping him calm and making sure he was okay. i jumped out of the suv, pouring tears, and trying to find out what happened. one of the men carried koda and put him in the back seat so i could sit next to him and he could lay his arm down comfortably. he couldn't put any weight on his right paw without yelping and crying. :(

so next thing we rush him to the closest animal emergency room off of 249. they immediately took him to the back to give him some morphine for the pain. we then met with the vet, who of course was some indian guy with a thick ass accent that could barely speak english. he then proceeded to tell us what he thought was wrong but wouldn't be for sure without a full work up.... which would cost $1,100 and they would not do anything until we signed paperwork and paid up front. like SERIOUSLY!? who the fuck does that? my animal might be dying and in serious pain and all you're worried about is getting some damn money!? go figure. greedy bastards. and on top of that, he was going to have to recommend us to a specialist which was going to cost $3,000-$5,000. so of course we said fuck that because those charges are ridiculous. even when butterscotch was routinely going to the vet for medication and tests, it never cost that much! so we left with a pain prescription.

we packed up all of our stuff as quickly as possible and loaded it in the truck to head to dallas where we have an excellent vet that could get the job done and not put us in debt. you know? unfortunately after having him just ride in the car for about an hour while we were trying to get things in order, koda was in pain and obviously didn't like riding in the car hurt. so we came back to nathan's mom's house and made him a pallet on the sunroom floor where we could watch him and he could be secluded from the traffic of the other two dogs. nathan's brother-in-law's dad told us of a vet his sister used for her dog in an emergency situation. her neighbor had shot the dog with an arrow (accident or not i'm not sure) but it went in through his head, his jaw, and even his shoulder. they had several consultations with different vets and a few told her that the chances of him recovering weren't very likely and that he would have problems with his tongue, brain, and even shoulder. BUT $400 for a surgery with this vet and he's normal again... no problems! so we're going to go to a real vet that actually cares about animals and not squeezing money out of you! so we contacted him and he called us back... we will be the first ones seen tomorrow morning right when they open! i just want koda to be out of pain and on the road to recovery.

i'm just sooo thankful for the people that stopped to help our babies when they accidentally escaped the backyard. luckily they were both wearing collars with tags and people really wanted to help and didn't just leave him to get hit by another vehicle. and i'm really upset that the kid that hit him left. the way i see it is that it's just a huge accident... it was an accident that our babies got out and it was an accident that they got hit. it's not like you drive around everywhere expecting for dogs to come racing across the street, you know? i would have forgiven them in a heartbeat. but to be so inhumane and keep driving?..... that hurts. i just hope that this sits on their conscious for quite awhile.

if you don't care about animals, you shouldn't be a fucking vet!

hallie elizabeth wilson on a six hour road trip with three hours of sleep, if that, and two dogs is not a good idea. plus it doesn't help when people don't have plans set in stone and everyone is calling everyone like a chicken with their head cut off.

so. stressful.

but, i want to punch some people in the face right now.

and i'm tired.

so, yeah. just thought you should know!

christmas idea

so i'm pretty sure i want to get this for

my mom for christmas. :) maybe even get

matching ones so it's like a mother/daughter thing?

i think i'm going to get these for myself

as a christmas/birthday gift because they

are so freaking cute and totally me. ♥